My boys are ages, almost 11 and close to 14. I have always marveled at how openly loving they are with me. On a school trip to Epcot and again to Universal my oldest son had no problem hanging with his mom and giving me hugs and telling me he loves me. I would brag to my friends how my children still enjoyed that affection and weren’t embarrassed by it.
Today that thought came to a screeching halt. I mean break slamming, tires squealing, heads turning, people screaming kinda halt. I totally missed the 50 foot semi veering off course towards my heart, didn’t see it in my side view mirrors because it was right in front of me coming at full force
My youngest son politely told me yesterday that I could stop calling him babe, honey, and handsome at the baseball field. I could even not come over and talk to him if I didn’t want to? Talk about a “subtle” hint. To expand the hole already growing in my heart when I was telling my husband about the conversation my oldest son over heard me and told me that I embarrass them by calling them silly names in front of their friends.
BAM!
That darn semi came out of no where slicing my heart in two! I always new this day would come and was very surprised it took so long. I was slightly embarrassed that my oldest son never said anything to me before, and honestly I don’t think I even realized I was doing it. Despite my broken heart I commended my son for being brave enough to tell me that I was being THAT kind of mother.
It appears the tweens and teens are full force in the Shibley household. I hold my head proudly, thankful I got away with what I have for so long and smile. I smile because my boys are boys and despite their reluctance for anymore public affection I know without a doubt they thrive on it at home. (They have said it is ok if I call them the silly names, just not in front of their friends.)
Wish me luck as I enter this next phase of parenting! If you aren’t there yet remember to check your side view mirrors often and keep an eye out for semi’s!
monique says
Awwww! He’ll be back to “normal” in a few years LOL!
Beth@Wiccan Make Some Too says
I too had that experience when my son was a teen. He did not have to say anything to me….I saw it in his face. So one day as I dropped him off at school on my way to work I told him to have a good day & then I said, “Hey who are we fooling here….try to have a tolerable day”. My son got the biggest grin on his face & responded for my to try & have a tolerable day also. I was letting him know that I respected his maturity & would not be a slobbering Mom. To this day that is a special phrase my son & I use for each other. Now he has no problem hugging me or giving me a kiss in front of his friends. Of course he is older now. He is 33 yrs old today! It gets better Hon!
Colleen (Shibley Smiles) says
Oh I love how you made it into something to remember when he got older. WTG!
Anne -Mommy Has to Work says
My son is 10. I guess my days are numbered. 🙁
Colleen (Shibley Smiles) says
Yeah mine turns 11 in a couple of weeks and HE was the one that brought this to my attention.
Nichol says
Awwww my heart will be broken in two when that day comes. I guess I don’t do it when friends are around, I know I’d be embarrassed but there are times it slips. I don’t want that day here:(
Colleen (Shibley Smiles) says
When I think about it, I can understand how it would be embarrassing. It is just so funny that it came from my younger son. It is so funny because at the same time he is very much an individual and likes to stand out he also is very sensitive to things like this.
Oh well at least they don’t mind that I “love on them” at home.
Jenn @ I Am Not Superwoman says
Ahhh….makes me sad. We have a 12 yr old tween who I am afraid will be hitting this stage too real soon. Right now he still loves to cuddle at home, gives me hugs & kisses, isn’t embarrassed by parents, etc but I know the time is coming. My heart is already aching thinking about it. Hopefully your boy will come back around soon. Have a great day!
Colleen (Shibley Smiles) says
The good thing is my oldest almost 14 still hugs, cuddles, and kisses at home. I was just so shocked he said I embarrass him by calling him names in front of his friends but he never said anything. Probably because my oldest son is very sensitive about hurting others feelings.
Kirsten says
Aww- that’ll change when the boys get a little older! Believe me, my husband still needs to go over to see his mom and dad once a week!
Carol says
Gah. I dread these days…although with girls, maybe I can get away with it longer. Well, at least you still have one who doesn’t mind the public slobbery affection, right?
Colleen Shibley says
Yeah my 5 year old little girl is still ok with it.
Emily says
I think it’s great that you have such open communication that your younger son could tell you. Communication like that isn’t easy during the tween/teen years. I think it shows that you’re definitely doing something right that he’s that open with you and that he’s still affectionate at home. I can only hope that my future kids will have that kind of relationship with me during the ‘awkward years’. I sure didn’t with my parents but it would have made the rough years at least somewhat easier I think. 🙂
LeeAnn says
I almost missed this one! Thank goodness for email subscriptions. 😀 Great post!
I am surprised you got away with it as long as you did. And it is great that Nicky was brave enough to say something to you. I hope my kids and I have that kind of open communication when they’re older.
I don’t think I have to worry about this, though. For whatever reason, I know that tweens and teens don’t care much for PDA from their parents and I doubt I will do it much outside the home. It doesn’t mean I love my kids any less, but I know that when you’re that age, it can get uncomfortable. Of course I will give them hugs and kisses at home for as long as they’ll let me.
Jessica~Mom of all Trades says
That’s a hard day to cope with. My oldest kids are 15 (girl) and 12(boy) and they’ve already had that talk with me. Even my 9 year old doesn’t like the “baby talk” as he calls it, in public. But, as we know, they’ll always need their mama’s 🙂
Julia says
Aw.
I had a friend, and this happened with her two-year-old! LOL.